


Non humans are incapable of love

by DreamscomeTRUEEE



Category: Fate/Grand Order, Fate/stay night & Related Fandoms
Genre: Babylonia Gil and Chaldea Gil are not the same person, Bottom Gilgamesh, Bottom Gilgamesh | Archer, Bottom Gilgamesh | Caster, But Merlin is Merlin, Gilgamesh thinks he’s being stupid, Light Angst, M/M, Merlin doesn’t think he can love, Stubborn Gilgamesh, in denial!Merlin
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-28
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-12 08:49:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29757105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DreamscomeTRUEEE/pseuds/DreamscomeTRUEEE
Summary: “My king,” Merlin interrupted, “I’m sorry for the misunderstanding - I was of the impression we were on the same page. An incubus is incapable of love.”1. “The king permits it. Hold my hand. Brush my hair. Kiss me. Spread my legs and fuck me. It is the night before the apocalypse. Consider yourself one of my people, and consider your wishes granted.”2. “Merlin will come to love you in the future. But is he capable of that, in your current lifetime?”
Relationships: Enkidu | False Lancer/Gilgamesh | Archer, Enkidu | False Lancer/Gilgamesh | Caster, Gilgamesh | Caster/Kingu | Lancer, Gilgamesh | Caster/Merlin | Caster
Comments: 2
Kudos: 15





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I haven’t written anything in so long I apologize for the bad writing. 
> 
> Only doing it because there is a severe lack in Merlin x Gilgamesh content!
> 
> First two chapters set in Babylonia except Merlin stays all the way to the final fight. 
> 
> Story really starts in chapter 3.

“Rejoice, Merlin.” Gilgamesh’s eyes were twinkling. “You have been rewarded with the greatest gift to ever be bestowed.”

“My king?” The flower mage cocked his head to the side in confusion. 

“Do I need to spell it out for you? You have been promoted.” Gilgamesh let out a full belly laugh. “Can’t wait to see the useless goddess’ face when she finds out that I have chosen another!”

“Promoted?” 

Gilgamesh’s sharp brows furrowed. “Merlin, you’re being particularly dense today. I just told you that you are no longer just my servant or court mage, but also my lover. I have granted you that blessing.”

“... Do you love me, Gilgamesh?”

The twinkle in Gil’s eyes was fading. _Ah, he must be realizing._

“Yes, that is what being lovers means. I think we have well progressed our relationship beyond -“

“My king,” Merlin interrupted, “I’m sorry for the misunderstanding - I was of the impression we were on the same page about this. An incubus is incapable of love.”

_ And I thought you weren’t either. That’s why I like you so much.  _

“...You insolent fool of a mage!” The air around the two men rippled, and the faint outlines of golden portals shimmered.

They held each other’s gaze, neither backing away. After what felt like an hour, the portals disappeared. 

“So be it.” Gilgamesh’s crimson eyes never left Merlin’s. “Then begone.”

“Gil- “ 

This time the attack was launched from the Gate of Babylon so quickly the flower mage could only step back. 

“Don’t call me that, court mage. Return to your duties. Visit a couple of prostitutes. Do as you please, just out of my sight.”

* * *

Merlin didn’t think the king would sincerely develop romantic feelings for him. He had always found the two of them similar, both non-humans fascinated by humans or human creations. Love was an emotion neither could fathom.

Of course they’ve had sex. Gilgamesh was his master, after all. The irony was that Gil was always so burnt out by the mana he used for his other servants and to maintain the border, that usually Merlin was the one replenishing Gil’s mana, not the other way around. He still remembers the golden locks splayed against the pillow, the unexpectedly sweet but unabashed sounds that left glistening lips, the warmth that enclosed him as the beautiful king invited Merlin deep into his body - 

But sex was physical, and served a functional purpose.

It wasn’t love, because love is human. What they had was a symbiotic relationship.

Which is why the dull ache Merlin feels in the depths of his heart from their last parting is simply irritation. 

Gilgamesh shutting him out right now was inconvenient and potentially destructive. Tiamat would reach Uruk in less than 18 hours. They should be strategizing together. He couldn’t stop himself from activating his clairvoyance to see what Gil was doing instead -

Is that Kingu?

Gil is giving him... a grail? 

What was Gil  _thinking_? They need every resource they can salvage, and the grail had enough magical energy for more than an army!

“I’m not your Enkidu.” Tiamat’s son’s voice was breaking. “I’m the enemy! I don’t... understand.”

“Stop linking your identity to your mother. Remember this. You were about to die. The king has granted you life, so do with it what you will before the world ends. Have you no wishes of your own?”

Kingu laughed then, sounding mortified. “You know what I want to do? I want to hold your hand.” 

Purple eyes traced his hands - Enkidu’s hands - and continued a path to the king’s face.

“...Brush your hair, help you put on your jewelry. Hug you. Kiss you.” 

The hand then reached towards the golden king, caressing his cheek. “...Push you down, spread your legs and make love to you.”

Merlin held his breath - Gilgamesh was staying silent.

Kingu continued, tears flowing freely, “I can’t even tell if those are my wishes or Enkidu’s! I’ve never wanted anyone so fiercely - it can’t all come from this body. Some of it must be my own, but -“

Gilgamesh cut him off by pushing their lips together. 

Merlin wanted to stop watching then, but something compelled him to stay.

So he watched as the two kissed, first slowly, then passionately as Kingu figured out the rhythm. After they broke apart, the golden King kept their foreheads touching and uttered, “The king permits it. Hold my hand. Brush my hair. Kiss me. Spread my legs and fuck me. It is the night before the apocalypse. Consider yourself one of my people, and consider your wishes granted.”

He watched as Gil led another man to his bed, as Kingu shred Gil of his clothing piece by piece, murmuring words of love, of devoted companionship. Merlin found solace in the fact that Gilgamesh never returned that affection - of course he wouldn’t. Gilgamesh wasn’t human.

Yet still Merlin watched. As Gil guided Kingu into his body, leading calmly, “Your body knows mine. It knows what to do - let your instincts guide you.” As Gil’s voice started to climb in pitch, the same way it did when Merlin pleasured him just right.

Just... right?

No, this was wrong.

**Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong.**

Gilgamesh’s body and soul were already committed, he shouldn’t -

With a snap, Merlin’s consciousness was back in his own room. 

... _What_ _was that?_


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Gil, you have future clairvoyance.”
> 
> “Obviously.”
> 
> Kingu smiled, expression neutral, “That means Merlin will come to love you in the future. But is he capable of that, in your current lifetime?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry again for the bad writing.... I’m realllllly rusty.

Gilgamesh awoke to a sea of green, and for a second he wondered if the past couple decades were a dream. “Enkidu...”

Then the eyes opened, and he was greeted with violet.

Ah, yes. 

Enkidu was dead.

...

So was Merlin to him, that shithead! A sudden rage towards the flower mage that he had kept in the entire night boiled to the surface.

“Merlin’s an idiot.” Gilgamesh grit his teeth and sat up.

Kingu hummed in response, admittedly in a good mood. He appeared to have reconciled with the memories of his physical body. “Good morning, Gil.”

“He’s insufferable. After all the time we’ve spent together, after all our conversations, after all the times we’ve made love - how dare he!”

The king was still huffing when Kingu began to brush his hair.

“For what it’s worth,” Kingu casually stated as he put Gilgamesh’ turban on, “It’s not his fault for not loving you back.”

That gave Gilgamesh pause.

“That’s incorrect. I’m the clairvoyant one, not you. I  _ know _ he loves me.”

Tiamat’s son hummed, sounding almost exactly like Enkidu used to when he wasn’t convinced.

“Gil, you have future clairvoyance.”

“Obviously.”

Kingu smiled, expression neutral, “That means Merlin will come to love you in the future. But is he capable of that, in your current lifetime?”

Frowning, Gilgamesh muttered under his breath what sounded suspiciously like “Since when did I ask for your advice you faker”.

He lay back against the pillows, dismaying Kingu who would have to redo his hair and turban all over again. 

“The future tells no lies. But I suppose we don’t have time.”

He lowered his eyelids, a hint of sadness seeping into his voice, “I just wanted to... have something with him, as our current selves. Not a copy of me engraved onto some stupid Throne of Heroes.”

_ It’s not fair. In my vision, he’s so gentle with that Chaldean me, so deeply in love. I refuse to believe that me is so different that he fell for him instead.He loves  ** me ** .  _

Gentle fingers stroked his shoulders and eventually closed around his hands.

“For this lifetime, you have me.”

A bark of laughter released itself from his throat. “Kingu, you fool, you don’t even exist in the future.”

The green-haired being looked neither offended nor upset. “I exist now, and I will be by your side until the end of the world.”

Gilgamesh shook his head, then chuckled. “Well then, for your unwavering loyalty, the king shall reward you.”

Kingu let out a chime of laughter, and it sounded so much like Enkidu’s that Gilgamesh’s heart tugged.

“Gil, brush my hair. That will be my reward.”

* * *

10 hours until Tiamat reaches Uruk.

Merlin and Gilgamesh still weren’t talking to each other.

Ritsuka and crew were only slightly taken aback by the addition of Kingu -the Chaldean master himself did have a tendency to attract allies from the opposing side, after all. 

Time flew. Romani panicked, Da Vinci downed coffee after coffee. 

* * *

5 hours until Tiamat reaches Uruk.

Quetzalcoatl and her Quetzalcoatlus were ready. Ereshkigal continued to work on an underworld channel to Uruk. Ritsuka and Mash were preparing to support Ishtar carry out her part of the plan.

“Merlin, come with me.”

Merlin looked up, surprised. He had thought Gilgamesh wanted nothing more to do with him. He had Kingu for mana transfer now, after all. 

He followed the Uruk King’s footsteps as they walked in silence.

Recognizing the path, an uncomfortable feeling churned in his gut. He didn’t like this place. 

After a couple of turns, they came to a simple room, with an altar at the end and a coffin in the middle.

Entering, Gilgamesh turned around to face the man who claimed to not love him.

“You are very slow, Merlin.”

He grabbed the court mage’s hand and pulled him towards the coffin. 

Then, in one swift movement, the king hopped inside said coffin and laid down.

No.

“Gil - gamesh, stop it.”

The man’s eyes were shut now. 

“Seriously, there’s no meaning in this exercise, let’s -“

His breathing was... slowing.

Why was it still slowing?

Too slow.

_No. NO._

“You can’t do this to me again, Gilgamesh!” Merlin blurted, his heartbeat picking up in pace, beating so loudly it was almost all he could hear. 

Staring at the golden king in what felt like slumber -  _death?_ \- Merlin could feel his entire body tightening in fear. A familiar one.

Before he knew it, he was roughly shaking Gilgamesh in hopes to wake him. 

It only took 3 seconds.

Gilgamesh coughed, his red eyes snapping open in almost comical bewilderment. Then his cheeks reddened.

_Dammit. I wasn’t supposed to actually fall asleep._

Shaking the sleepiness away, he took in the sight in front of him. Merlin, visibly shaken and sweaty, his grip almost crushing Gilgamesh’s form.

Smirking, Gilgamesh proclaimed, “There! You love me.”

He was greeted with a slap so harsh it knocked his turban off.

“Merlin you bastard - you DARE -“

The taller man slapped him again, on his right cheek this time. 

“No,” interrupted Merlin. “You. How dare you use your death to manipulate me.”

He looked absolutely livid. 

Gilgamesh had never seen that side of Merlin before - the man was always smiles and flowers and underhanded tactics and silly jokes. 

But never angry.

Yet the King of Heroes was never one to back down from another’s wrath.

“Still think you are incapable of love, incubus?”

Merlin ground his teeth.

“Not love, King Gilgamesh.” 

“Oh?”

“Disappointment.”

With that he turned tail and left.

Gazing at the figure of his servant retreating, Gilgamesh sighed. 

Stepping out of the coffin, he was struck by a sudden dizziness.  _Dang it, was last night’s sleep and mana not enough?_

“Gil!”

Kingu was by his side in an instant. “What do you need?”

Gilgamesh crushed their lips together, “Mana.”  _And a distraction_.

* * *

  
0 hours until Tiamat’s arrival. 

The city was scorched, the people lost. 

The king stood atop his Ziggurat, provoking the Mother of all Beasts that had broken out of the chain of heavens with little effort.

The last Merlin saw of Gilgamesh was him shielding Ritsuka with his body. 

His very mortal, very human body.

* * *

“I will tell you of the beginning. Heaven and Earth split, nothingness congratulated creation, my Sword of Rupture cleaved the world! Mortar of the stars, heaven's hell is the eve of creation's celebration. Now you shall die and be silent..."

"Enuma Elish!" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We’ll get to see more of Merlin’s inner thoughts in the next chapter.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Yes, I know who you are.” The golden king looked exactly the same as when Merlin first met him - when he had first summoned Merlin. Proud, strong, beautiful. The caster container suited him.

Singularity repair didn’t happen with the snap of Ritsuka’s fingers. The Babylonian Singularity had trailed so far from Proper Human History that it would take 5 full hours to restore itself.

After sending Ristuka and Mash off with a complementary grail, Gilgamesh sat atop his Zigurat. 

To live together, to fight together... to think he would have the chance to experience that with other people again. 

“The Chaldeans are a rowdy bunch,” he remarked to the flower mage standing next to him.

“We are lucky to have them,” Merlin replied.

Gilgamesh corrected, “To have had them. We won’t be seeing them again.”

Merlin watched the king for hints of sarcasm or humor, but found nothing.

“We both know that’s not true, Gil.”

The corners of Gilgamesh’s lips quirked. “Maybe you will. But the King Gilgamesh of Uruk today is dead. Ereshkigal will be reclaiming my soul soon.”

Merlin made a formal bow. “My stance has not changed. Should your legend be passed on to those who come after you, we will meet in the distant future.” And Merlin was certain of that.

Huffing, Gilgamesh retorted, “Stubborn Incubus.”

Merlin simply smiled and sat down, finding his place next to his master. “Stubborn human.”

“I’m not.”

“Not stubborn or not human?”

“Cease your silliness.”

Gilgamesh couldn’t put a finger to it, but something felt different between them.

“Merlin - mmph?!” His words were drowned out with a kiss, so much gentler than what they used to have during mana transfer. Gentler, softer, but not losing any passion.

Without hesitation, Gilgamesh kissed back. 

As he tangled his fingers into the other man’s long locks, he felt like he was melting. 

When they finally parted, both of their cheeks were rosy. 

Disgusting, none of us are fifteen.

... was what Gilgamesh thought, but he was smiling so wide his cheek muscles were straining.

“Why the change of heart, Merlin?”

He could tell that his joy was reflected on Merlin’s features too.

“Let’s just say the realization that you are human was a wake up call?” Merlin drew the king close and mumbled into his nape, “Also you manipulated me.”

“Stop pouting, fool. You’re human too. I have not forgotten that you raised your hand against me not once, but twice.”

Gulp.

Gilgamesh’s mouth was so close, Merlin could feel his breath against his ear. “But you’re in luck. I forgive you - on the account that you put that energy and force into much better use...”

* * *

Orchid eyes fluttered open.

The magus took in his surroundings, and let the realization sink in.

It wasn’t every day that the mage with power over dreams gets caught up in a dream of his own.

The truth was, that day, Merlin thought it wouldn’t matter. The Merlin in Babylonia was an astral projection therefore technically a copy, but he experienced everything the same when he returned to Avalon. Why should a heroic spirit copy of his king be any different?

So when he suddenly heard a summoning call (Ritsuka’s so impatient...), he elected to answer it. 

He never truly bid farewell to King Gilgamesh of Uruk - the man who fell in love with him.

As Merlin’s body began fading from the seventh singularity, King Gilgamesh collapsed in fatigue, in despair, in helplessness - for the first time since he mourned his one and only friend, the king sobbed.

* * *

“Yes, I know who you are.” The golden king looked exactly the same as when Merlin first met him - when he had first summoned Merlin. Proud, strong, beautiful. The caster container suited him.

“I have clairvoyance, and I can view records of what happened in the past.”

Merlin stepped forward, “Gil -“

“However, that matters not. I don’t know what was going on in that version of me’s mind, but I hardly think you’re worth my time.”

Those striking red eyes were so cold and distant.

Ritsuka stood a feet behind them both, the elation of successfully summoning both Merlin and Gilgamesh dissipating as the tone of the room dipped.

“My king, I think it would help if you reviewed Sheba’s records of what happened in the Babylonian singularity - at least to better understand and strategize -“

“Silence, mongrel. You are sorely mistaken if you think you can order me around.”

The young master backed down, hurt. 

Indignant for her master, Mash spoke up, “King Gilgamesh, with all due respect Master has resolved seven singularities and even gained your trust - you even shielded him from Tiamat-“

“Another disrespectful brat. Don’t make me repeat myself - none of you have proven your worthiness to me. I am not the me you met in that singularity.” He paused, seemingly surveying the summoning room.

“Now bring me around this scrap of a headquarters. I shall inspect if you are ready to take on the King of Mages.”

Seeing this as an opportunity, Da Vinci stepped in, “The gorgeous Da Vinci-chan at your service! This way, King Gilgamesh.” She winked discreetly before leading him out of the room. 

Ritsuka stared at his retreating back, crestfallen. 

“It’s okay, Fujimaru-kun. As unreasonable as the king is, I’m sure he’ll turn around.” Romani offered some words of comfort. “You just have to rebuild that trust and regain that respect.”

_ Trust and respect... _

_ What about love? Could Gilgamesh fall in love with me again? _

Merlin shook his head at the thought that invaded his mind. 

It’s not as if Merlin could love anyways. It’s better off if the king doesn’t develop those feelings.


End file.
